Settlement
Mediation and Settlement in North Carolina Family Cases
The three mediation programs you may encounter, what happens in a session, what confidentiality actually protects, and how to prepare so a session works.
Three kinds of mediation you may encounter
| Program | What it covers | Cost | Who attends |
|---|---|---|---|
| Court custody mediation | Custody and visitation only | No cost to the parties | Parents only; attorneys do not attend the session |
| Family financial settlement conference | Equitable distribution, alimony and support | Court-set mediator fee, usually shared | Parties and counsel |
| Private mediation | Anything the parties choose | Agreed hourly rate, usually shared | Parties, counsel, and anyone else they agree to include |
What actually happens in a session
A mediation session, start to finish
Confidentiality
Communications in mediation are generally privileged and not admissible in the case, with narrow exceptions such as reports of child abuse and threats of harm. The mediator does not report to the judge on who was reasonable. What comes out is an agreement or a statement that none was reached.
How to make a session productive
- Bring documents, not estimates. Statements covering the month of separation for every account.
- Write down your priorities in order, separating what you need from what you want to win.
- Know your alternative: what happens, realistically, if this does not settle.
- Arrange childcare and clear the day. Watching a clock kills settlements.
- Expect the middle hours to feel slow. That is where the movement happens.
Almost every case settles eventually. Mediation is simply the question of whether it settles before or after you have paid for a trial.Christopher Adkins, certified NC and SC mediator
Christopher Adkins is certified by the North Carolina Dispute Resolution Commission as a Superior Court, Family Financial, and Estates and Guardianships mediator, and is board certified in South Carolina as a Circuit Court and Family Court mediator. He offers private mediation through Mediation Solutions.
Frequently asked questions
Is court custody mediation free?
Yes. The district court custody mediation program is provided at no cost to the parties in a filed custody case.
Can my lawyer attend mediation?
In the court custody program, generally no. In a family financial settlement conference and in private mediation, counsel attends.
Is what I say in mediation confidential?
Generally yes and privileged, with narrow exceptions such as reports of child abuse and threats of harm.
What if we do not settle?
The mediator reports only that no agreement was reached. The case proceeds, and many cases settle later using the progress made.
Can we mediate before filing anything?
Yes. Private mediation is available at any time and is how many families avoid filing at all.
Ask whether your case should mediate first
Some cases need a judge. Most do not. Adkins Law will tell you honestly which kind yours looks like, and Chris Adkins also serves as a private mediator for parties who need a neutral.
Adkins Law, PLLC · 9620 Sherrill Estates Road, Huntersville, NC 28078 · Calling or texting does not create an attorney–client relationship.
This page provides general information about North Carolina law for educational purposes. It is not legal advice and does not create an attorney–client relationship. Statutes, court rules and local practice change, and the outcome of any case depends on its own facts. Speak with a licensed North Carolina attorney about your situation. Written by Christopher Adkins, attorney at Adkins Law, PLLC, Huntersville, North Carolina.